Introduction

You may find this blogger a regular person, who doesn't seem to fit well with the usual world. I'm messy, spontaneous vs. reserved, analytic and find joy in spiritual conversation and development. In high school I found myself interested in psychology and philosophy, arts and languages (except for Swedish). I wanted to be either a film director or a costume designer by trade as "being something" or "someone" seemed like the only option I had for life. I felt like I was unsuccessful in everything else that I could've considered meaningful.

Around those times my dog died and I found myself in the middle of a depression cycle which continued for a few years. I have also presumed I had been depressed even as a child without realizing my situation. These days I understand that it was because of my mother. Mental problems existed, but inside this broken family unit they were always belittled or somehow projected elsewhere, many times on myself.

Just as I described, everything escalated at school when I turned 18. Little by little I became more aware I wasn't alone in my room at nights and developed a fear of being in the dark alone late because of this. With this fear came along spiritual experiences and a reawakened interest in the supernatural a couple of years later. I got tarot cards from friends as a birthday present and started to learn about chakra systems, auras, the spirit world and even about the life outside our planet (this was due to an experience I had as a child). I yearned to know the truth about our life mysteries and I was confident it was possible to (re)discover it.

I was right about that possibility, indeed. I had been having all these theories about the structure of our existence and now was the time to see if I was anywhere nearby the truth. Realizing I wasn't the only one thinking like this and that there were actually a huge number of people across the globe and later even amongst my friends sharing an astonishingly similar world view-- I knew there absolutely had to be something true about it. I had been searching for miracles all my life and there it was. No-one had taught me the things I had speculated to be right and now out of the blue I had this amazing support system for my thoughts all around me.

It didn't take long to be told I had the gift to mediumship having a shaman spirit by my side as my spirit guide. I started to understand I had been having these spiritual experiences as a child too, but my strong forced Christian faith and the fear of being judged by the Christian god had blocked my abilities for a long time. Little by little I started to gain confidence in my gift by giving power animal readings to my friends after realizing I could see an animal "on them" when looking at a person. I kept practicing, until a couple of years ago I had crossed the point of being able to convey messages from the spirit world. It had always been important to me to be able to know for sure I wasn't creating the message on something I already knew about those people. Both mistakes and astonishing accomplishments came along the way, the mistakes becoming way rarer by time.

Three years ago I finally got my hands on the topic of reincarnation, which had fascinated me ever since I was a child. At first I falsely thought I must have been a newcomer on Earth, since I had no past life memories or experiences, besides one curious dream I had seen a couple of years earlier. Just as with the power animals, it hit me that I could actually see some people as someone else, when looking at them and sometimes gaining an impression of another historical time. I started to practice and became better on it, whilst getting busy in my everyday life.

My depression cycle helped me to start handling many things that were wrong in my life. Ever since, I've been becoming happier and happier as a human being. It took me some time to get that I actually hadn't been that happy in all of my life. I got hooked on the feeling of freedom the new form of spiritualism provided in my life and I wished other people could feel the same things as I did. My wishes to become a costume designer or a film director were long gone. All I wanted now was to improve as a person, discover new sides about everything that existed and get a taste of adventure in my daily life.

Healing our mental problems and at least accepting them became an important interest of mine. For a few years I tried to save people around me, especially the friends I now considered my real family-- only to learn later on that was no good. I earned even more emotional freedom by understanding that humans have always the right to choose for themselves to believe, to accept and to act on things. I could not bend them to my will seeing and acting on the things around them that could lighten their hearts. More often than that not following my intuition about how to handle people, I burnt my fingers. Finally it was time to move on and change the plan.

It hasn't been an easy task to understand using my inner voice is a part of my meaning in life. It would be only a few adventures away to find the perfect setting to use it AND people who could hear it and actually wanting to listen. I'm still on the same path to discovery, but it hasn't been until lately that I understood, my life purpose considering helping people is of the spiritual kind, using my wisdom and gifts with the best of my ability. I never thought making a living this way would be possible, but I'm currently searching for the bravery to see the perfect way and possibilities to serve people in the future.

My drive for sharing experiences to raise awareness has been huge, because I've been through so many life changing situations with the help of the spirit world and understanding our past lives. This blog is one venue to share most of the knowledge I've gained through these years. One of my highest wishes right now is to reach something in people. Everything is possible if we give the universe a chance to show it.

Finnish Civil War 1918, part 1

I just had a session with the spirit world by using pendulum and clairvoyance/clairknowing as my tools. I had an intention to ask about something quite serious, just a simple one-question try for my spirit guide. I did get my answer later, but first on I had someone different coming and he told that he couldn't answer the question I had suggested.

It was one of my spirit teachers. It took less than a second that he was swinging my pendulum swiftly and became clear to me that he was coming from one of my past lives and we had known each other. The connection is usually not this fluent in the beginning, but I can understand why it came to us (me and the spirit) so easily today. There's basically two reasons:

1) I just came from a mediumship demonstration (I think that's what they are called in UK, but in Finnish it's just a "meediotilaisuus", which I think describes it better). It is a more or less well known fact that attending to medium sessions, opens the receivers psychic/mediumship gifts sometimes and it isn't really a rare thing to happen. I personally didn't get a message this time, because it went to other people there (there were about 50 people attending this demonstration), but just as the medium Maila Marttinen said, all our spirit guides were strongly present there today and even without getting a message, many of our loved ones were there too, close to our auric field (actually inside it), us being mostly open to their energies. I believe I stayed open for these energies for hours, because straight after the demonstration I went out with my two friends and we talked about deep spiritual questions. This is something that actually does help keeping us open to the spirit world.

2) On my way home I found that one question-worthy reason to hold a seance/session for myself so I asked my spirit guide would be there waiting for me. I asked for protection and guidance and gave the spirit world some time to accommodate to my wishes.

So here's what I discovered about this spirit teacher who came meeting me. He used to be my little brother in my past life in Finland. I was born at some point before the turn of the century and lived to witness our war of 1918. I had five siblings: Only one of them was a girl, but she died very young. When the war came, both of our parents and both our grand parents were dead. This little brother who came to teach me was 6 years younger than me, but I wasn't the oldest son. We used to fight a lot.

To my relief, he told me that we had cleared our karma from that life long before my present life and he wouldn't incarnate as anyone around me in this life. This is actually a little rare to my experience. Those who've been pointed out in my past life readings have been usually incarnated as my family or friends in this life. Anyway, I don't think anyone should now start to believe that it was or wasn't common our family members from past lives didn't incarnate close to us again in this life. I believe all paths exist in this one.

One of the interesting things is that I had thought I was a chauffeur from my trade. It seems I was a little wrong, but also right. I have been aware for a few years, that around 20's I was in doings with cars and richer people and I was a male and a person of lower income. This came to me in a past life reading a very dear friend of mine did to me. A couple of years later I had a sudden realization that my car driving phobias had come from that specific life. I was able to understand that I had been in a car accident in that life and when it happened, I was the one behind the wheel. I thought I was older when all that happened, but now my little brother from that past life told me I had been a teenager back when it happened. He also told me no-one died, but at least one person was left (severely) handicapped.

There was something that had boggled me about that life before the 20's... I had an impression that I had been to America, when later on I started to have strong signs I had been at that time a Finn attending our war. I've been speculating if I was one of those, who moved to America. But it didn't quite fit with my experiences... If I had been to America, it would've also meant that I moved back to Finland as well. When I asked about this from my little brother, he said he wouldn't be allowed to answer my question at this point.

I've been careful with unfolding this past life and it seems that it will keep on unfolding itself at it's own pace. In the next part of this past life study, I'm going to describe the dreams I've had from this time. I haven't seen too many clear past life dreams, but these came to me easily, with less symbolism confusing the facts. This is something that makes my life of 1918 even more curious for me.

Uncaged

Suddenly I understood, that feeling uncomfortable talking over and over again about my past life experiences with my friends was a sign. I started to build up tension inside of me that made me feel really uneasy. I needed one more past life experience to understand that I felt caged and that I needed an outlet for my thoughts and feelings somewhere, where I could actually feel free to express myself as who I truly am. That's when the idea of starting a blog came into the picture. It's simple, it's easy-- it doesn't bother anyone and collects only those readers, who feel interested in it's topics.

Having a past life identity that happens to be well known in history and present is nothing but easy. Halfway it feels like a curse. It has made me go through lessons of self-worth so many times I'm not sure it will ever end. I had been handling the general phenomenon of being famous beforehand throughout the youth for other reasons, so it was perhaps planned that my past life as Ned Kelly surfaced only two to three years ago. Sometimes I wish I had known some things affecting my current life earlier, but I know that I wouldn't be what and who I am now if I hadn't experienced the hard stuff raw. 

I'm going to be totally honest with you by saying that I need your support. At the same time I'm trying to stay true to myself, learn being independent and avoid clinging to people's opinions or my tendency to try please everyone. Finally becoming sick of that side of me I found my way here. Coming out of the closet, so to speak. Or my mental cage. 

I realized that I was being an idiot wasting my life trying to please those, who happened to be around me. I haven't come out to my Facebook friends or relatives there. Everything else feels natural to update but not telling that "Hey, I've been going to these wonderful medium nights. Totally loving it" or "I cried my heart out today, because I suddenly remembered the guilt I felt in my past life". I knew that job and bosswise I never cared, what was shown online about my faith or hobbies. And if people who I thought were close to me would run away, maybe I wasn't that important to them after all. That is the very same reason I never started a blog, even though I maybe tried. Now for me, it's the time to stop trying. 

I still won't probably link this blog to my Facebook account in the future. For now, I justify this decision by knowing that the majority of my Facebook friends isn't interested in spiritual or the "supernatural" stuff. For now, it doesn't bother me. If at some point my heart tells otherwise, I will adjust my plans. But the most important change now is that I refuse to be scared that a relative or a distant friend would find this blog online and read my story. This is the place, where I'm able to share my stories in full length. Nothing should be left in secret or half shadowed, if one really wants to know what's all this "Henniina talking about spirits and past lives" is by reading through this blog. 

I admit I'm holding slight grudge by having to explain this at all. I wish being accepted with my interests and experiences would be as easy as being objected to breath so that one can live. The things I handle in this blog are similar to a part of my breathing, which means it is a great part of who I am. I have other life too, of course but I can't deny the importance of spiritual matters in my life and working and developing as a medium. 

At this point I feel also kind of excited as this blog feels like a positive step on the road of fulfilling my life purpose. But more on it later.

Disclaimers

First things first. This is a personal blog of a person interested in natural spiritualism and evolving one's skills in mediumship and past life readings. I'm trying to keep my thoughts and experiences on an intimate level and share things that might just help you out on your own path of spirituality. I  will sometimes make statements and present multiple hypothesis before arriving to my final conclusion and you, my readers, are the people I'm sharing this process with. 

I'm using my best ability to evolve as a human being which is one of this blog's purposes. This is the place I'm able to be me. I am not a scientist. I am a regular person. I also make mistakes. Also my English isn't perfect and will never be, but I will try my best to transmit the information I intend to. :) 

Besides using this as a "being-me-spot", I have other objectives too, like being able to share the wisdom of the spirit world and our eternal souls. I have a few past lives that surface more intensively than the others, one of them being my past life as Ned Kelly, the 'infamous bushranger'. It's my only famous past life and I hope it stays that way: It's not easy to discuss about these experiences with people, but they are as real as they can be to me. I found that blogging and vlogging could help me out not bottling the emotions linked to this matter inside of me. 

That is also the very reason I will be more inclined to keep the comment flow mostly on a positive/neutral level and negative personally intended or otherwise inappropriate comments will automatically be removed / not published. Always remember to follow your heart, whenever it comes to your life, anything people say online (or in the media) or what even I say in this blog. Healthy criticism is always helpful. I'm interested in taking questions from readers and answering them with the best of my ability, but being a very busy person outside the social media, it might take some time. It depends on my time-tables and state of emotional resource levels.

 But for now, the rant is over and the adventure is on. I welcome you warmly (and slightly nervously) following my journey on past life exploration and thoughts on spiritual stuff.

Sincerely, 

-Henniina